Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! It was tired of being pushed around. 225. Why should you knock on the refrigerator before opening the door? They spray the rabbit with the bottle, and it comes back to life. Right where you left him. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. Mind Your Own Business replied, "I am looking for Trouble! Why did the deer go to the dentist? 112. I avoid hanging out with pigs. Because he had a great fall. How do you measure a snake? I want some motherf***ing pancakes!, The first boy exclaimed. Dreadlocks and Ringlets. "Policeman: "About a gallon. She was having a dry spell. Aw shucks! It starts to lick himself. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? Someone else driving down the highway stops and walks over to him, and asks, What happened? The man replies, I hit this rabbit with my car and now its dead! The other person gets a thoughtful look on their face and goes back to their car. 20 How do rednecks spend the first week of the school year? We would love to have another good laugh. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? They GoPro! Whats orange and sounds like a carrot? It lost its filling. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year.". Cricket. Which table fits in the fridge? Despresso. It's my way or the Huawei. MY wifes so stupid, the other night I found condoms in her purse, and she dont even have a penis!. So, if you don't like jokes, skip jokes and view photos only. Why cant you trust an atom? 232. How do trees access the internet? Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.I want to go home, says the first friend. @hotmail.com: You still think that MySpace is hip. Because he used up all his cache. Do you know how fast you were going? The police officer says.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); The Muslim man responds angrily, I had no f***ing clue officer!, The cop, surprised, looks at the Muslim man in the eyes and says, What did you just say ta me?, The Muslim man apologizes: Im sorry officer, its Ramadan and Ive been fasting. The space bar. She was hit by the zamboni. A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. He was sad and had no motivation. He wanted to be a Smartie. How would you rate the quality of the article? A dinosaur was in a car accident. Approximately 1 GB. 300 Funny Jokes Have a good laugh over these clean jokes you can tell your friends and kids without getting in trouble! Someone glued my deck of cards together. Between you and me, something smells! A dragon sees two knights and sighs. What do lawyers wear to work? Could someone please put on some wrap music?". (2022), Mason Jar May Day Basket | FREE Printable Tags, 500+ Hilarious Jokes for Kids {Kid Approved} . And, I pray, why would God let it eat us? What do you call a woman with one leg? Why did the tree go to the dentist? What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? What kind of music do planets like? 1. A Dell! A stick. Why did the computer get glasses? Where does a spy go to the toilet? Any dog, because buildings cant jump. 6) A player asked his golf coach: "What is going wrong with my game?". "The farmer didn't answer. - You take 'em to the old Volk's home. Wanna hear a joke about paper? What is the tallest building in the entire world? The officer looked in the back of the mans truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?The man replied, These are my penguins. What is a gust of winds favorite color? How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? 2 What's orange and sounds like a parrot? If the answer is positive, scroll down below to check them all out! Before leaving they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his car, but it is not really a Porsche. ", Kid going to his first day of school, he looks worried, his dad asks him, "What's wrong? Now, the main question here is this - are you ready for our selection of only the best long jokes ever? It is two tired. I was impressed and asked: "Does he know how his so many greats grandfather lived for so long? Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? Why did the drum take a nap? In case there is a salad dressing, 59. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Sounds great, said the health-conscious boy. 87. How did the barber win the race? When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. 262. How do rabbits travel? Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. 238. A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. 171. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. I just came in because of the blood. Have a good laugh over these clean jokes you can tell your friends and kids without getting in trouble! What do you call a musician with problems? 218. What did Dory order from McDonalds? What do you call a cold dog? Flood-lights! BOOOOOOOts. A meltdown. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. Why did the photograph go to jail? Sure enough, there was a panda. The Dread Shed. Q: Con A: Okay, now you say, "Control Freak who?" Here are more knock knock jokes that are genuinely funny! Like I said, it's been a rough day. There are over 200 short jokes that will keep you and your friends chucklesnorting all day! That hit the spot. 63. Upon rubbing the lamp, a Genie appeared and asked him what his wish was. What do you call a quiet laugh in Maui? Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. Ooops! 50. 245. I don't know how to deal with it. ( Golf Workout Program) 7) "Housework won't kill you. You look drunk. A soccer match. So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole. Theyre immediately taken back to a room. 50 of the funniest dog memes ever. Why are teddy bears never hungry? "Me: "Ship her home. Why did the painting go to jail? 36. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder.". A gummy bear. 24. Look at the size of that bird, Paw! she exclaims. I will never forget some of these, and you better believe my friends are hearing them. 295. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Why couldnt Captain America find Thors brother? He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. Why did the woman go on the date with the mushroom? The boy shocked us by saying, "That man was not my father. Knotty Dreads. We've broken them down by category, but all the jokes are pretty punny we swear. Killing me. I can do it with my eyes closed. What are a sharks two most favorite words? Everything I looked at. ", A Husband and Wife at Custody court. For a high school dance, the head boy asked out the girl he liked. Laugh at 25 really funny redneck jokes. A chili dog. they are always good for a laugh! He opens it and sees the same snail. What part of the car is the laziest? It needed a root canal. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. 299. I wonder how deep it is., The second hunter says, I dont know, lets throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom., The first hunter says, Theres this old pickup transmission here, give me a hand and well throw it in and see.. 25. They dribble all the time. The Best Funny Dreadlock Jokes | Funniest Jokes Topics Dad Jokes Dark Humour Memes Top Jokes Make your own meme Topics Dreadlock Jokes Related Posts Grape Jokes Family Jokes Taco Jokes Leave a Reply You must be logged in to post a comment. Where do young trees go to learn? Just take your pick! "A nurse tells the third man, "Congratulations! Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? What do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? When I offered it some food, I was taken aback because it suddenly started talking. What do you call a bear with no teeth? 102. In case they get a hole in one. He just told me that if I wanted to get a free haircut at the barbershop, I should come with him. What do skateboarders do when theyre really talented? 203. The first redneck says, My wifes so damn stupid the other day she bought a motorcycle helmet and we dont even have a bike.. Here's what your email address says about your computer skills: Own domain (e.g., @methodshop.com): You're skilled and capable. ", During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? 165. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Then two years ago, you told me to go to Mexico, and Earlene got pregnant again. Because he was outstanding in his field. The junk food of the comedy world, you can never have just one. When is a door not a door? 195. 233. 16. A year later, theres another knock at the door. Itll be okay, son. You will have to leave two behind.. Pup-eroni pizza! ""Yes," sighs the husband. The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years. "The seat is empty. 234. Because it was a little horse! They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. Because he was outstanding in his field. A buccaneer. Goodbye, 2022. 183. If you have friends as weird as you, then you have everything. ", "Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor. He gets out of the car and walks over to the rabbit. I excel at sleeping. Same middle name. 9 / 75 Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? The man replied: "You can't do this. The second guy says, "What are you doing? 2. 243. Whats a pirates favorite county? Neptunes. "Tim gets this horrified look on his face.She says, "Darling, what's wrong? ", A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? So, the wife and I were in town shopping And as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. A bowl full of mice-cream. Im really good at sleeping. My cat on my lap says she doesn't understand the joke and she would beat me in chess. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? What do you call someone who cant stick with a diet? A river. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because people are dying to get in. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. A tomato in an elevator. They sit next to the fans! Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem. 247. Always be ready to make someone laugh with these. By the bark. Arrrrgh-entina! 45. Ask her anything! "I dont need to outrun the bear", the first guy says. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), I Felt So Shaken Up: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husbands Conversation With Mother-In-Law, AITA? A spelling bee. A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. 290. Tickle its balls. What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
